


Am I the Asshole for Ripping Off My Own Son's Arm?

by TheWritingSquid



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Crack, Gen, In the sytle of AITA, Post-DMC5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:26:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22487065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWritingSquid/pseuds/TheWritingSquid
Summary: A humoristic fic in the style of reddit's "Am I The Asshole?" wherein Vergil seeks the internet's judgement on his potential assholery.
Relationships: Nero & Vergil (Devil May Cry)
Comments: 57
Kudos: 239





	Am I the Asshole for Ripping Off My Own Son's Arm?

**Author's Note:**

> This is the brainspawn of me reading too many AITA posts in the last 48 hours. :']
> 
> For those unfamiliar with AITA, it's a reddit where people go, explain the situation, and let users decided if they are the assholes. Commenters respond with YTA (You're the asshole), NTA (Not the Asshole), ESH (Everyone Sucks Here), or NAH (no assholes here), and usually some justifications or thoughts. OP sometimes returns to update with more information.

I know how this sounds, but hear me out.

I (43?M) didn't know he was my son. I had suffered defeat after defeat and my body was falling apart. I needed to find my katana, a Devil Arm of great importance to me. We will call it Yam. So I tracked it down, further consuming what little devil powers I had left. I found the blade--an inheritance from my father and my only companion for years, I might add--in this complete stranger's arm. Time was running out, so I took the fastest road. I reclaimed what was mine by tearing the demonic arm with my katana in it, then used Yam's powers to portal away.

Later, I learned that the youth in question was my son. I do not even remember conceiving him!

You have to understand, if I had not taken Yam back, I would not have survived. I needed it to split myself in two and unburden my demonic half of its human weaknesses. How else would I stand a chance to defeat my twin brother?

So, I ask of thee, Reddit: Am I The Asshole?

***

UPDATE 1: Many of you seem to overestimate the gravity of the wound I inflicted upon my son. He is surrounded by a loving family and has received medical care. His coma was short lived and he had recovered quickly enough to help my human half fight the demonic one. I, meanwhile, was *dying*. Besides, he is a worthy heir and unlocked sufficient demonic powers to regrow the arm, so ultimately, there is no harm done (pun not intended).

***

UPDATE 2: "INFO" means you need information in order to pass judgement. Writing "Are you the asshole who created a gigantic demon tree and devastated Redgrave, killing hundreds of thousands?" implies you have already passed judgement. I am tempted not to answer, as I do not see how this pertains to the original inquiry, which is entirely focused on my relationship with my son. If you must know, however: yes, that was me--or, to be exact, it was my demon half, which has now returned to me.

***

UPDATE 3 : A point of clarification: I do love my son. He is a brilliant young man, a deadly fighter, and a powerful demon. I seek to repair what has been broken. As I have spent many years trapped in Hell or dead, I have never been given the opportunity. I am well aware we started on the wrong foot, so to speak, and that I cannot, as many of have put it, "strong arm" him into this relationship (I will have to assume your pun was equally unintended, though I admit I have my doubts).

Many of you have suggested therapy, but I do not think a mere stranger could handle the scope of what I have endured. Furthermore, I do not know what "doxxing" is, but I assure you, sending armed men to my doorstep will only result in their death.

***

FINAL UPDATE: The judgement is in. I am the asshole. So it is written.

**Author's Note:**

> BTW if you know the reddit and wanna answer in its style, PLEASE FEEL FREE. I had a ton of fun with it so you might as well :D


End file.
